Pressure Cooker Warrior Pillows

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

The household cavalry

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Call Center.

"They really expect a lot from us."

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

4 Great Life Hacks for the Holidays!

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... develop a clear plastic wrap that doesn't bunch up!?

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.

Human Dust Buster

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

Pizza Fencing

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"Isn't it time you had your bath?"

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"If you can't stand the jaguar, get out of the kitchen."

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'