Pressure Cooker Warrior Pillows

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

The household cavalry

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

Call Center.

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

"They really expect a lot from us."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

Pizza Fencing

Our house is a mess! Life's messy, I need to simplify. You don't have the nerve to do what needs to be done. We left our laundry on the sofa for you, mom! You're so wrong. I can too get rid of my kids. You'll save tons on cleaning supplies alone!

4 Great Life Hacks for the Holidays!

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... develop a clear plastic wrap that doesn't bunch up!?

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

Human Dust Buster

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'Don't blame me, I told you to pick your feet up.'

"Isn't it time you had your bath?"

"If you can't stand the jaguar, get out of the kitchen."

Hey! I just vacuumed there!! Sisyphus at home.