Press Conference Fan Prints

The main reason I came out of hiding? FOMO."

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"You're on a what?!"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

Abraham Lincoln

Dollars Press Conference

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"Please remember - if the President doesn't get mad at you, don't take it personally - Mr. Trump is very, very busy."

I'm sorry Charles is unavailable for polite comment.

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

George W. Bush

Reagan on Mt. Rushmore.

'I have time for 3 more of those politically booby-trapped minefields you call questions.'

"I liked you better as George Washington."

Thoughts about a comfort

"For a change of pace, you shout and answer and I'll make up a question."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

Diddly

'Hurry up, coach. Pick one.. you're late for the press conference.'

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

Abe Lincoln's birthday.

"I will not run for re-election so I can spend more time with my role officer."

William Howard Taft

"Trump's election victory was intended by God!"

The media became obsessed with the idea of 'The Most Important Potato Chip in the Bag'.

"I'll try to find out what makes you tick, what makes you cuckoo."

God Gives His First Press Conference

"Well, maybe if you let me work from home I wouldn't have to look at porn on my work computer."

"I'm stepping down to spend more time with my chin."