Presentation Perfectionists Prints

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'We need to mask the lack of substance in the presentation with fancy graphics and animations...'

"Don't grown at your audience."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Presentation skills.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Kiwi Ingenuity

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."