Presentation Master T-Shirts

'Our next speaker won't bore you with a long speech. He can do it with a short one...'

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'If you have anything of importance to tell me, for goodness sake, begin at the end.'

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"Dynamic presentation on accounts receivable, but next time go easy on the pelvic thrusts."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."