Presentation Gurus Pillows

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Presentation skills.

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

Kiwi Ingenuity

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"Hold your questions until I've talked so long no one knows or cares what you're asking about."

'Great visual support.'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

Pie Charts.

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."