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How to deliver a successful presentation.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Dog says, "I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word, 'speak'."

"I've no idea what he said...but he's so darned cute."

"And that's how Ned keeps us coming back for more of his Accounts Receivable presentations."

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"I was at the office and everything was normal... until I got up during the meeting to give a presentation and I realized I wasn't wearing a mask!"

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

'Great visual support.'

"If you don't strike oil in the first minute then stop boring."

"Author! Author!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"Are you sure you want to present your ideas in the form of an airplane?"