Preschool Milestone T-Shirts

"Your apple was definitive!"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

Dominant hand reveal party

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.