Preschool Humorist Prints

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

The Count goes number two... two...

This will never work. I'm a night person.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

Children's Nursery

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Remember,when he says 'gotta go download',he means 'go potty'.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

Therapy for babies.

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

Welcome to algebra. As freshmen, you are the unknown variable X. After 32 years, I ask myself Y?

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."