Prenatal Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

101 Placenta Recipes

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

The baby's really been moving round today.

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

Pregnant Juliets nurse using police code to threaten Romeo