Premiership Prophet T-Shirts

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Love your feng shui!"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

The Speculators

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

A self-filling prophecy.

doom.com

"That's our projected sales."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'No doubt the upturn will come soon because the sheet of paper ends here!'

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'