Pregnancy Survivor Mugs

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

"What to expect when you’re expecting. Newly revised edition."

"...until death do you a favor."

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

'Hold it!'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Mother's Whistler.

Hormones before and after pregnancy.

"I'm letting him soak."

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

Triplets

'I think i cried myself inside out!'

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

'COME BACK..I NEED TO PUT YOU ON!!'

"Technically, I don't think you can claim to have saved your husband's life on several occasions just because you haven't killed him!"

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"If I'd known it would last this long, I'd have settled for the edited highlights."

'Baby's kicking again.'

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