Pregnancy Pun Enthusiasts Gifts

"My mother ate math homework while she was pregnant with me."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Maternity Ward

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"Six down, three to go!!"

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"If mum's aerobic classes are to continue I'll need a passenger safety airbag fitted!"

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

'Looks like Tungor's wife's waters have broken.'

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

The baby's really been moving round today.

101 Placenta Recipes

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'

We have a Royal patient with severe vomiting!