Pre-wedding Jitters Pillows

"I came here because my podiatrist said he couldn't help me with my cold fee."

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"It will be a short service. We’re getting married during half-time."

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'Wait a minute - This is getting too close for comfort.'

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

"And so, by the ventriloquism powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"Lookin' good...I haven't eaten in three months!"

"It's his first day of school!"

Tunnel of love - pre-nuptial agreement

The Happiest Hen on Acton.

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

"My camera froze up during the ceremony, but it wasn't a big problem. So did the groom."

"How much worse?"

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'

"I don't mind getting married for better or for worse as long as it's not a whole lot worse."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"Yes, I miss him too. Mind you, he's not dead yet. This is just the rehearsal."

"With my dollar dance, I've raised enough money to buy Christmas presents for everybody."

A bride and groom at the altar.

'On second thought, maybe I'll shop around a little first.'

"Does wedding planning have to be this stressful?"

'I was driving to my wedding when my GPS recalculated and so did I.'

Reschedule Your Appointment.