Prankster Pillows

"Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed."

'It's not that Ted was a bad guy, he was just all out of 5's.'

"When Dr. Henderson comes in, everybody play dead."

"Guess who?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

After years of abuse, mittens exacts his revenge...

"In the hat! In the hat!"

Banana Warning

"I never know when you're kidding."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

'Now relax and the doctor will begin your hearing test in just a moment.'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'No, Kevin. It wasn't romantic and it isn't the thought that counts!'

Claire discovers the The Clapper operates on the same frequency as Don's pacemaker.

'Center for the Study of Murphy's Law' (Closed today because everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.)

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

Fake Near-death Kit.

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

Man Jumps Out Of Plane With No Parachute.

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

"And mark it 'strictly confidential' - I want everybody to read it."

Surprise Party

Guess your weight, height, date of birth, e-mail address, and social security number.

Deer Season Open.

'My doctor says I should try to have more fun at work.'

'Somehow, Jeffrey McCoy got hold of a medical alert bracelet that says 'requires daily cookie'.'

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It Shop.

'Help's on the way, Billy! For God's sake, keep sucking!'

'Oh geez, looks like this new harness has a trick release on it, so be careful there, Bob... Bob?'

April Fool.

'I don't think we should plug it in.'

'We merely talk to them about time shares until they leave voluntarily.'

'And finally, I would like to be buried with an elephant bone...Just to confuse future archaeologists.'

'Cannonball!'

What makes you think the rest of the class doesn't like you, Jones?