Prankster Strategist Gifts

My cheapskate muse is dead. Great. I woke up yesterday and realized it's been months since I've had an idea for cheating the customers. Everything I'm coming up with is cliched: charging extra for toilet paper, 75 cents for a clean cup, one-for-the-price-of-two bagel specials. I can't take pride in ripping people off like that. One-for-the-price-of-two?

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Fly Football

'Cannonball!'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Hair Crop Circle

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Deer Season Open.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

"My homework ate my dog."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

'Oh Hi!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"