Practical Genius Pillows

'Remember Tom, creativity is no substitute for knowing what you're doing.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Draw your own path."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Alex Ferguson

"I need out-of-the-box thinking with off-the-shelf practicality."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"It's baaaack!"

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"And you laughed when I had it installed."

"I wasn't smart enough for college. So instead of a diploma and a quarter million of debt all I've got is a growing plumbing business and a steady income."

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"That guy invented the hula-hoop, the frisbee and the internet. Two out of three ain't bad."

"At least it'll be dark when they climb out."

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

'I can hack into any website, but those child-proof bottle caps are still a challenge!'

Philosophy - who said it has no practical uses

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

"Kazakov is employing the rare 'Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure' defense."