Poultry Plot Twists Pillows

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

The Hen Commandments.

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'

Chicken Little's Cousin, Turkey Little: 'The Axe is falling! The axe is falling!'

'That's weird, do you smell barbecue sauce, Sarah'

Crowing Rehearsals

"I don't know what it is, we just look fabulous in Cranberry."

"Cross the road and you are one of us brother, but you can never reveal WHY you did it!"

"And don't get me started about being henpecked. Why do you think I crossed the road in the first place?!"

"I think we need a mission statement."

Hen throws an egg and the picture turns to daytime.

Jesus 'raising' chickens as a kid

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

"Have you heard the story of the eggs?. . .Two bad."

"Who was first?"

"It's beak-proof. That makes it perfect for the hen-pecked husband."

'I don't know all that much about welding, but I really need to get a job before the end of the month.'

The attack of the fifty foot chicken.