Potion Making Gifts

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

'It works. So what if the Food and Drug Administration doesn't approve of it?'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'The Food and Drug Administration is really cracking down. Now we have to list all the ingredients in our potions.'

'It needs venom.'

"Are your hands clean?"

"And now from downtown!"

"It's the hair of Debbie Wasserman Schultz that gives it the special sulfuric aroma."

Will I ever remember to read the recipe before I throw out the package?

The slow cooker changed everything

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"... No, I don't want you to add, eye of newt and blood of bat... This is our porridge!"

"Of course it tastes funny. How many times do I have to tell you, when it comes to toad's bladder, NEVER use domestic!"

Toadstools

'One eye of newt or two?'

'Needs salt!'

"I said slime."

Newt sale

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

Apothecary. Tell us what ails you. We'll concoct a chemical mix to dissolve in water which will fix you. Every problem has solution!

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Witch's Brew.

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.