Poster Presenter T-Shirts

"So nice of you to offer to display our posters" "I didn't. My pastor made me"

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Presentation skills.

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

How to engage an audience

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'