Portfolio Presenter T-Shirts

"Love it!"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

Blue sky thinking

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Presentation skills.

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

Kiwi Ingenuity

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'