Post-match Discussions Pillows

'We're in a hurry.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

'My dad's a soccer announcer.'

Free Speech has heavy price.

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

World Cup. Half Empty.

Match Fixing in Malaysia

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

Avram Grant, Premier League Manager.

I know we just lost! We're throwing him off the top of the stadium!

'Hello. You've reached the twenty-four hour toll-free hotline.'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Adrian Chiles

'Put the kettle on darling.'

'It's amazing what they throw away: a tracksuit, a dozen oranges and another 2-0 lead.'

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

Women carrying signs, one says 'The end is near!', the other says 'The end is not near!' The caption reads 'But aren't we fortunate to live in a society where differing views are tolerated?'

"My wife's an angel."

"Dude, you need a girlfriend."

'Jameis Winston is going over to the sideline, I'm not sure if he's been suspended again, or just broke a chin strap."

"Banning A-Rod for the entire season is tragic. However, banning him for the postseason might be a good omen."

'Let's keep it simple -- stop serving me when you run out of beer.'

'If it wasn't for the 19th hole I would have quit this game a long time ago!'

Stand for the Anthem?

'That's a no-brainer, Tom.'

Football Commentator.

Off-air comments.