Post-holiday Bargain Hunter Pillows

'Your credit cards are smoldering.'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Cut Price

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

"I just..."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."