Post-divorce Settlement Prints

'My ex-wife and I have only one thing in common. We both want my money.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Marriage least expected to last...

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

"Can't you just say 'bippity boppity boo' and make all these messy divorce negotiations turn into pumpkins or something?"

"Give it all you got is the motto of my wife's divorce attorney."

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

Marriage Returns

"As a matter of fact, yes, it was an amicable divorce."

'Of course I will! Hey, I can't go wrong - my brother is a divorce lawyer and my dad is a gun dealer!'

Change your style, learn to smile!

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"Of course, your case against him would be a lot stronger if you had made him sign a pre-peccadillo agreement."

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

'You don't want to marry me. I'm a divorce lawyer.'