Possession Care Pillows

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

"Staff support"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

Doctors Discussion

Reverse Mortgage.

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

Demonic Repossession.

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

Card: Get Human Soon!

Repossessions

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

''Honor thy father and thy mother'? -- What about custody disputes?'

"The custody battle could go on for months, and cost you a small fortune. Why don't you just buy yourself ANOTHER dog?"

'Guess what? The judge awarded ME custody in today's two child custody cases!'

'Don't forget to wipe your feet.'

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"Okay, these are the documents we need to sue your ex for child support, and if we can convince the court it's not too out off line, to have the words, 'lying, cheating b*****d' tattooed on his forehead."

"I'm sorry, Jim. Due to a paperwork error, you now have custody of my kids."

"All the chairs have been repossessed, so these are all standing desks now."

"Her lawyers were very good."

Guardianship of minors

'I got custody of the kids.'

For those important occasions when he had to look his best, Barry made sure to wear his anti-dandruff fan.

Tug of war.

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

Lawyer: 'She got the house, he got the money, and somehow, I ended up with the kid.'

Self-driving cars are ruining business! Default on the loan and the car drives itself back to the dealer!

"It speaks to my desire to spend money."

'The problem is that since the divorce, I only see Little Master every second weekend...'

'He can have custody of the kids as long as I have access to his bank account at weekends.'

"I love real estate. It's so tangible."

'What d'you mean I've won custody of the children - what children?'