Positive Leadership Advocate Pillows

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Aging Problems

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Fat fairy

Girl's weight issues.

Scales

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Irregulars

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"