Pond Architect T-Shirts

"That's brilliant Mr Beaver: These wooden platforms are a lot more durable than lilypads..."

Wildlife

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

Ducks look alarmed at 'No Swimming' sign.

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Sooners! Opening day of fishing.

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

"Well, I'll be darned. It does come with its own creature."

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'We're not shouting, children, we just want to know where you buried Granddad.'

"Why don't you paint a picture – it'll last longer."

"OK, who's the joker?"

"So...how do we get out of this one Fatso?"

'You know why they call you an old coot, because you are an old coot.'

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

Peter's Natural Principal: 'I'm way over my head in this pond!'

Participants in the Poetry Writing Workshop imagine that they are imaginary persons in a situation of their own imagination.