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'This next song is about oil. Then again, isn't everything?'

Department of Work and No Pension

'Look - if I'd had any idea what a constitution was, I never would have signed the darn thing, okay?'

Richard Nixon.

Pruning Branches

"If we didn't have a first past the post system I'd beat you everytime."

"It wasn't a lie, Senator, it was a larger truth."

'This is Madame Muggins, she's in charge of budget allocation.'

"O.K., maybe that was inelegantly stated."

''Invade Mesopotamia'? ? I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid!'

"The President is closing in the polls, but he still needs hurricanes in several key states."

European colonists arrive in America to appropriate land.

"To be completely frank, we have now discovered all your country's secrets, except how to make a million dollars in one's spare time at home with no personal investment."

Schwarzenegger at the California Treasury.

The Trans Pacific Partnership

Be patient - the UN is working on it.

'Honey, it's me. . . and whoever else is listening at the NSA. . .'

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

British rats flea the sinking EU

"How smart do you want it - encryption - wise? Do you want to outsmart hackers, terrorists, the FBI or the CIA?"

"My teacher says you're a threat to regional stability!"

"Tell the press direct EU-taxation is necessary..."

"I just won the Euromillions."

Political Espionage

A bipartisan committee.

'The 300 Spartans arrived... and blocked the legislation.'

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Not us! Regulate them!'

"Graham is building a time-machine that will take us back to when you could offend someone without them taking offence."

George III, as St George, Vanquishes Napoleon, the Dragon

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

'I landed this on Jobseeker's allowance.'

'Look, I'm just Ludwig XVII! - I'm not responsible for what those other sixteen Ludwigs did!'

Byers 'resigns'; sacrificed to press and shareholders.

'You'll be happy to know we're considering calling for an investigation.'