Political Rhetoric Gifts

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Changing Minds

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

Like Minded

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

"Don't you think even if there'd been no John Cardner and no Comon Cause, we'd have found each other anyway?"

Your logic is flaccid and your data suppositional, dawg!

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

Sensitivity Reader

What came first, the chicken or the egg

Ministry of Soundbites: "Actually minister, it doesn't really matter what you say as long as you include a combination of the words 'choice','empowerment' and 'customer focussed'."

"Not guilty, because your lawyer came up with some great excuses."

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"I don't know how he does it. He preaches entire sermons without using the words like, cool or awesome."

Peace Policy

'Call in someone who understands all the terminology that no one understands.'

Insight/Incite

'If elected I promise not to use the 'F' Word.'

Polelitically Incorrect

'Great speech! But let's cut your carefully reasoned conclusion and insert an uplifting sports metaphor.'

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'

Gauntlet Cards, Respond at Your Own Risk