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''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Trump pardons

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'In a surprise move, Greece decided to peg its currency against the Baklava.'

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

'Hi. Due to the regulation fervor, I'm one of the clowns from Washington here to tell you how to run your business.'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Totalitarian Humour

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"How is it in Russia?"

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'