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"Donald Trump couldn't brain a blister."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Trump pardons

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Berlin Peace Movement

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'In a surprise move, Greece decided to peg its currency against the Baklava.'

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Hi. Due to the regulation fervor, I'm one of the clowns from Washington here to tell you how to run your business.'

Totalitarian Humour

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"How is it in Russia?"

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"Sire, they also want dental."