Political Absurdity Aficionado Pillows

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Trump pardons

Sir Winston Churchill

Political convention

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Trump Poutine

Loan Alley

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Laughingstock

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

SAGE mentality

"Valet park only"

All-Verbal Westerns

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"Who's next?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

One way only.

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."