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Upcoming Campaign Promises

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Everything's gone up."

'The market shifted on me.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

NHS targets.

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

Our Rights

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

'In... out... in... out... in... out... in...?!'

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'Greenspan today explained the reason the Fed faises interest rates is so they can lower them again.'

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'On my salary, microeconomics is all I can afford.'

'The all bad news is, the last check that bounced, you sent to the IRS.'

'Am I an additional cost or an incidental expense?'

"No, you can't be a venture socialist, because they don't exist!"

Survey: Congestion Charge is wonderful and Ken is a God. Agree/Strongly Agree/Utterly Agree/Agree Big Time.