Police Sketch Artist Pillows

"That's all I can remember. He had a pimple."

'That's nothing like him. The bloke that beat you up was a little skinny guy.'

'Does that look like your waiter?'

Picasso's career as a police sketch artist was short lived.

'C'mon get it straight.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

Fly Artist

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"No, that looks nothing like him. Were you even listening to me? Young man, are you on drugs?"

The Cartoonist's armoury

Artist paints nude model with Etch-a-Sketch.

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

Etch-a-sketch artist.

Hockey Goal

'For goodness sake, Miss Pendleton, stop jiggling about!'

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

Lincoln Portrait

"I wanted to go for an explicit sex scene, but now I see this, I think I will opt for the suggestive approach!"

Sinister looking man sits near outline of body, with a sign that reads: 'All my own work'.

'I think the eyes were closer together.'

"'Moors? I thought you said 'Ye Old Pour Me More Tavern'... Is that a new dress? Wait, why are there two of you? Okay, let's dance... Where's Dracula?'"

"I like to sketch out my designs first."

"Now the teeth! Huge...savage teeth!!"

Sketchy Neighborhood

The Police Artist.