Police Case Keen Mugs

"Ow! Don't smush so hard, meatball!"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Bribery and Corruption.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Newton's Law and Order.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Ski Surfing

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

CSI Fridays

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

Bureau of Missing Persons

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

Financial Corruption

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."