Poetry Performer Mugs

"Stuart – would you like to come up and rap some Tennyson for us."

My poem is called 'Daddy's Little Blue Pills...'.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

They hated me.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Showbiz Awards

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Edgar Allen Poe

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Do me next."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Now I really hate poetry."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Extreme miming"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"I gotta be me!"

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Why we need poetry. . .

"My novel is not a doorstop!"