Plunderer Of Laughs T-Shirts

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

The New Yorker Book of Cartoons that No One Can Understand

'What do you mean I used to be cute?'

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

Tragedy and Material

'You have no idea how difficult life can be when one is totally irresistible to men, Jane.'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"It's weeder's elbow."

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

'I knew it! Come back here!'

Customs and Examinations.

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"Just make sure you tie it good and tight! We'll have that tooth out in no time!"

"This day and age it's necessary."

Royal Flush

Metal detector finds another metal detector.

"My fifteen minutes of fame came at a very inopportune moment."

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

"I won't do full frontals. I have my career to think of!"

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

Bob Monkhouse

'Go on then Bill, just a quick one. Only I've got to get to the bank.'