Plumbing Wizard Pillows

"Neglected, his body slowly deteriorated until suddenly, he bursts open, innards flooding the floor."

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'You can't come in here with that.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'No it's still not fixed'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'Boat Launch'

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

I got the raise

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Thrower here has always been one to push the envelope.'

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

'We're having a meeting and it will not end until we find out why no work is getting done.'