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'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'Mom!!'

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What do you mean "try jiggling the handle"?!

"Thank goodness you're here! My husband is trying to fix it himself!"

Man using a plunger on his horn.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

Shower cubicle flooding.

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Dog Urinals.

'I'll have a 'sewer-fire' in a plunger also.'

'Just this tap to fit son, then the job is done.'

A case where bigger isn't necessarily better.

'He fixed the sink alright! Now we get water from the TV.'

"Here's your problem."

"I'm recording this so next time I swear, you'll know where I got it from."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Scotsman in the bath...

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

Snowman in the Freezer.

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

Defense Contractor, Inc. Research and Development. It's a portable bathroom for navy ships. Heads will roll!

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

Hot Water from the bath.

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

Hoping to compete with ABC's smash hit 'Desperate Housewives', Fox launches 'Desperate Plumbers'.