Plugged-in Pal T-Shirts

'Follow me, tweet me, poke me, link-me-in and treat me like the textual deviant I am.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'That was fun!'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

World Tour.

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Intellectual Property

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

"You had me at alternative milk."

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Simulated travel...dine with us in local cafes & pretend you're in London, Paris, Tokyo, Mexico City, etc...

'Oh no we couldn't...We've known one another too long' Then they kiss and laugh

'This would be a lot more fun if you didn't throw like a girl.'

'Did you order something from Amazon?'

Returning to reading

"I don't feel so much endangered as I do under funded."

"I don’t know, Phil … my gut tells me she’ll drive you nuts."

I will eat my greens for you (today!)

"Okay, which one of you guys filled my bowling ball with helium?"

"Hey Cruz, check out my super-powered speaker system!"

"It's a podcast about me and my buddy discussing movies, but the catch is we also sorta joke around."

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

'Bait no more! You really know how to take advantage of a friendship, don't you!'

Friends Yeah!

"Son, we must never drink from the forbidden plant."

Checking watch

'Did you know Geoffrey was once a tennis umpire?'

'Honest! It was the only tree I could find!'

"You know, you're a great pal! You're a little cold at first, but a guy can really warm up to you!"

'Trust you to have a fetish for b52 bombers.'