Playful Wordsmith Prints

Where milkweed comes from.

The Sacrificial Peep

Ghost writers

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

"It huts to be called a little piggy, doc. It really hurts."

A fish-eye lens.

Cat Towels

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Backfire

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Best Seller

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Prayboy

Mother Goose's Haiku

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

A Poet

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

You trip on it, you buy it.

Sharp Eyes