Playful Satirist T-Shirts

There are times when it's best to stick with the old fashioned ways.

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

'I was working on little Billy's ant-farm, but lately, he's been more interested in computer games...'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Gee, thanks pal."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

German School

"What are you doing?"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.