Playful Mathematicians T-Shirts

Calculator Jokes

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

An abacus swimming pool

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Remote control car breakdown.

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Math/After Math

'Yes, I did put a bigger string on it. It's called upgrading.'

Microscope slide

Alternative Accountants

"I don't really have a favourite. I love you both equally."

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"Darling, you complete me!"

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

Cereal for Accountants

'My formula is incontrovertible proof that there is no such thing as a foolproof formula.'

4 plus 3 = 9: 'Of course, that's just a ballpark figure...'

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

'Physicists talking dirty'

You Lie!

"I am convinced that God does not play cards with the universe."