Playful Mathematicians T-Shirts

Calculator Jokes

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

An abacus swimming pool

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Very good, Jeffrey! - You are so creative!'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Working On Silly String Theory.

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Remote control car breakdown.

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

Sophocles Playwriting School. Euclid and Aphrodite are writing their play together. It must be a love triangle.

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Yes, I did put a bigger string on it. It's called upgrading.'

Math/After Math

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

Microscope slide

Alternative Accountants

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"I don't really have a favourite. I love you both equally."

'This is not what we meant, Snider, when we asked for a thorough study of the laws of gravity.'

"Darling, you complete me!"

Cereal for Accountants

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'My formula is incontrovertible proof that there is no such thing as a foolproof formula.'

4 plus 3 = 9: 'Of course, that's just a ballpark figure...'

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

Why parallel lines never meet.

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other. That's "Euclid." Some of us call him "Mister Obvious."

'Physicists talking dirty'

You Lie!