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"on the contrary, the fund's performance has been quite good when viewed in dog's years."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"He downgraded Apple."

Shakespeare Ave

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

"My assets consist of a piggy bank, 2 teeth for the tooth fairy, and whatever change I find in the living room sofa."

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'Hi, Dad! We were going to set up the lemonade stand you suggested, but then Jamie got an even better idea!'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

At The Clown Bank.

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

'Well, well, well. . . I see you've hidden several thousand eggs in an offshore basket. . .'

Got out of the market too soon, got back in too late.

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

'He made a lot of money investing in what he knew - dog biscuit and rawhide bone futures.'

Mathematician Food Fights.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

I didn't realize there had been so many mergers.

"What's the current return on investment?"

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.