Playful Dining Pillows

'Ryan, the idea is to eat food of each other's body, not our own.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"That's it. We’re toast."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Better Not Squash.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

Sushi Train Set.

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Stand back - while I whip something up

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

Sushi For Men...

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

Football Pudding

'Hoopla!'

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'It's a chocolate patch!'

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."