Playful Brainiacs Gifts

"You still need that recipe for boiling water?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"She's a miniature."

'I don't care if he does have an I.Q. of 169. I still think he's faking.'

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

Switchback Playground.

'I think he is a composer.'

'What I meant by 'quark' in 'Finnegans Wake' was a hypothetical particle with a fractional electric charge.

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

'Dad! There's oil in my sand pit!'

I'm sorry, but your drug screen results disqualify you as an employment candidate, You see, sample 'A' is a normal brain, sample 'B' is a normal brain on drugs, and sample 'C',,, Well, Mr, Dumpty, sample 'C' is your brain,

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Microscope slide

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

'But when you decided to go into psychology didn't you REALIZE that you'd be ‘surrounded by idiots'?'

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"That guy invented the hula-hoop, the frisbee and the internet. Two out of three ain't bad."

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

'Say, did you know that we actually only use a very small portion of our brain?'

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

Psychology: Registering for this class is a No-Brainer

Noam Chomsky

'Now, just for laughs, let's give him the dog brain and see what happens.'

'Well, it's been nice talking to you, even if you are a recording.'

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

Bookstores outpace the Kindle by devising a way to transfer every book ever written directly into a customer's brain.

'Physicists talking dirty'

"I got a perfect score on this online I.Q. test."

'Yes, Dear, I know fish is brain food, but maybe you should cut down a little!'

"No thanks. Me Vegan!"