Plant Magician T-Shirts

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

The Forever Stamp

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

"Your truth or not, Roger, it's wrong."

"Memorizing the multiplication table is NOT brainwashing!"