Plant Fantasist T-Shirts

Woman's flowerpot is a small jungle with a little tribes person.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

The Cactus Reader

Saguaro Cacti.

Hydroponic Gardening

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

Escaping Flowers

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'Say when.'

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

"Now that I've seen this, I don't think I can ever enjoy popping bubble wrap again."

Pick your own organisms.

Bathing Flowers.

'It started off as a hobby. Then it became an obsession. Finally, one day she went in there and hasn't been heard from since.'

"Don't bother. Everything is artificial."

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

'Thank you very much, but they don't want it inside. The deceased is allergic to flowers.'

"Wordplay - transplant. I used to be a gladiola."

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."