Plant-based Satirist Mugs

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

Breakfast cereal in the Treasury.

Broccoli reading: 'Coping with Anthropomorphism'.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

Even garden plants like to visit.

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Woolly tofu.

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

'I don't think I've ever had an eggplant before!'

An Artichoke choking on some food

"They were monsters! That's the last time I babysit for the children of the corn."

Production in times of pandemic

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

Venus fly trap.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

Cactus Hold Up

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

"What seems to be the problem?"

'How many vegetables died for your stupid salad?'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Bathing Flowers.