Planning Ponderer Pillows

Improving long term planning.

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. we forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we'd hoped to use died in 1958

A man about to plug in a lamp looks at electric sockets on the wall that say 'Solar,' 'Hydro Electric' and 'Nuclear.'

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'The money you've saved to last through your old age is gone and, h-hh-m...you're still here!'

'Does that mean things are getting better or worse?'

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

'Congratulations. Your old bloated 401K is now valued as a lean, mean 199F!'

'I'm new here. What type of retirement plan do they offer?'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'