Plank Expert Gifts

Plank

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

"Shred the plank."

Pull the udder one

"Any references?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'I ink, therefore I am....', IF DESCARTES HAD BEEN A CARTOONIST

Fade to black...

Tortured Plank

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'How was your luck, dear?'

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

Let the profit-making begin!

Learning.

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

He also buried the bitcoin password in the treasure chest.

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

'Plankton, plankton, plankton...all we ever have to eat around here is plankton.'

'How's my driving?'

Woman on a pedestal who married the planning expert.

'I said no more surfer snacks before the feeding frenzy!'

Expert and Ex-Pert

'I REALLY disapprove of our mandatory retirement plan!'

Sorry out of numbers.

'HEY,nobody said anything about MOONwalking the Plank!!'

"Under self-isolation rules, you can make a start on reading your impressive range of pretentious books, can't you?"

Pernalogist